So my chicken addiction has taken a turn for the worse lately. Turns out when I’m tired, soaking in the bathtub, and scouring the internet late at night, I get easily get distracted by chickens.
This is a crazy question, but did you know you can buy chickens online? I know, right?!? I’m serious as a heart attack. What is this world coming to?
Anyway, I have found a fabulous chicken producer, Murray McMurray Hatchery, and I have a tendency to order chickens in the middle of the night from them.
I know, I know….sounds like a problem, you say. And my husband would TOTALLY agree with you. But they are beautiful, healthy chickens, and they are delivered via the US Postal Service.
Many people criticize their local post office, but not me. Those people are fabulous. And they don’t even blink at eye when my chickens are delivered. Well, anyway, they don’t treat me like a complete maniac because I get chickens in the mail. They are probably laughing behind my back, but I’m cool with that.
At the end of one particularly stressful day, I was doing a little “chicken browsing,” and I spotted her….the most beautiful chicken in the world. Seriously. I heard angels sing (or maybe the fatigue and glass of wine were singing). Regardless, I immediately named her “Lola” and got busy putting her in my online shopping cart.
She arrived a few days later, packaged carefully with fruit for her one-day journey. I could tell she loved me as much as I loved her the minute our eyes met. Ok, our eyes didn’t really meet because she is a Polish hen, and therefore, her eyes are covered with feathers. She did love me, though. I could just tell. I named her Lola. There really was no other name for her. She was destined to be “Lola.”
I transferred her carefully to a dog crate to begin her transition process to “The Coop.” As I think I’ve mentioned before, the transition process is extremely stressful for the chicken moving into the coop, the chickens already in the coop, and me.
Lola did just fine in the dog crate, except for the giant black lab, Rosie, and the tiny poodle, Sallie, who loved to sneak into the garage and torment her. Oh, and there was also my husband. He seemed to have this strange belief system that made him think chickens are better in a chicken coop rather than a dog crate. Whatever. He just could never see this chicken’s beauty.
I finally decided to try the chicken transplant. I placed Lola outside of the coop, in the dog crate, during the days. The other chickens could see her, but not get her. All things seemed to be progressing well. That is….things were progressing well, until the day I decided to put her in the coop.
The moment I dropped her in with the others, they began their attack. It was evident that these ladies had been plotting from the moment they laid eyes on my beautiful girl. She ran to me like a scared child. Of course, I scooped her up in my arms and back to the dog crate we went. It was like a remake of “Mean Girls,” with chickens in the starring roles, of course…so maybe “Mean Chicks” instead. Anyway.
Day after day, we went through the same motions. Lola and I against the world. I left her in a little longer one day, and within fifteen minutes, she was crying in the corner of the coop. Well, I think she was crying. Again, I can’t see her eyes, but I know she was VERY emotional over the ordeal. No amount of me yelling at the other chickens to “BE NICE!!!” seemed to make a difference. However, it did entertain my family for hours.
Then, we had another “Chicken Incident.” Somebody, who shall remain nameless (but does closely resemble my husband), accidentally left the chicken coop open at night. I have recreated the scene in my head, and here’s what I think happened. One of my younger chickens (she was extremely docile and playful), got out. She probably ran right up to a hawk or raccoon, all the while thinking she was setting up a play date. However, a chicken horror movie ensued.
And then there was Big Red, my Rhode Island Red, the leader of the coop. She, of course, went after the baby and couldn’t get back to the coop. I will tell you that there were moments that morning that I shed a hysterical tear. I love that girl. I started calling, ok screaming, her name after I noticed they were missing. Within a few minutes, she came running from the woods, bloody but safe. I hugged her like no chicken has even been hugged before!
While sad, this chicken coop shake-up seemed the perfect opportunity to put Lola in the coop. I held my breath, and let nature take its course. It was a bit rocky, but after a few hours, she seemed to be fitting in better. Once she survived her first night, I knew we were golden.
As of today, I have concluded that Lola has now risen to second-in-command. She plays Vice-President to Big Red’s unfailing leadership. So I guess beauty does have a place in this world, because, trust me when I say she is a little light on the “brain” side of the equation.
And for me, Lola’s successful integration only gave me more incentive to chicken shop. A few weeks later, I ordered four more chickens at about midnight, after a long day. I went with the story that I had no idea where the chickens came from. Very smart tactic. I instructed my girls that if my husband asked, the response was, “What extra chickens?!?” That went well.
I think that as I write this blog, he is finding a way to block my browser from Murray McMurray Chicken Hatchery. But he totally wasn’t thinking when he took me to the farm supply store last Saturday, and they were bringing in their first chick shipment for Spring. Surely, I can sneak back and slip in just a few. I really don’t think he’ll notice……
Hugs and Blessings Always,
LITTLE JEN IN THE BIG WOODS
