Today I ran to the grocery store. A lady I know through a friend of a friend of a friend’s friend was in front of me at the meat counter. As the butcher handed her a package of meat, she turned to leave, and looked me square in the eye. I smiled and said hello. She raised her eyes above my head (which isn’t difficult because I’m so short) and walked away. And thus, my blog today is about mean people. Not sure why it is so heavy on my mind right now, but I am feeling it all the way to the bone.
Ok, so that lady probably isn’t really mean, (although I want to believe she clubs baby seals as a hobby), but as long as I live, I will never understand looking another human being in the eye, seeing them smile, and then acting as if they don’t exist.
There are some excusable reasons, I’ll give you that. You’ve had a really traumatic loss and just can’t deal with people at the moment. You’re bleeding to death and need to get to the emergency room. Those are a couple that come to mind. Typically, those are both pretty readable to the person attempting to greet you. If I don’t know you well, and you look sad, stressed out, or are bleeding profusely, I’ll let you off the hook. If I do know you well, I’ll probably hug you or take you to the emergency room whether you like it or not. Sorry, that’s just who I am.
My next example of mean person behavior is the yelling, screaming, bird-flipping driver. There are days when I’m running late (ok, everyday), and I drive like a bat out of you-know-where. I get more than a little irritated with drivers in front of me that just can’t break the 15-mph mark. But is it really necessary to completely lose it? And if you can completely lose it in this situation, what are you like to live with? Yikes. I’m guessing not pleasant.
Obviously, there are justified anger situations on the road. However, if I accidently do something to tick you off, would you do me a favor and count to ten? I prefer not to explain to my children just yet what the middle finger in the air means.
And now to reveal my number one pet peeve: the all-around mean-to-the-core person. I’ve only known a couple in my lifetime, but they are out there. Of course, there are the obvious ones, the Charles Manson types. They live it and know it. Those are not nice people. Stay away from them.
Sometimes, though, they come in disguise. They’ll kick your dog when you’re not looking, or pinch your kid. They’ll be nice to your face, but then do everything they can behind your back to destroy your happiness. Don’t be sucked in. If you suspect, watch them out of the corner of your eye. They’ll eventually show themselves. Then just walk away. Trust me, you’ll be better in the long run. Never forget the old cliche, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” Truer words were never spoken.
Now I’m starting to sound “preachy.” I used to have a surgeon mentor (I know, strange for an accountant, but I never do things the normal way.) He was the complete opposite of me…kind of cranky, very in-your-face, but always cut right to the chase. I would call him periodically before I had to deliver a difficult message in my previous job. When more than five words would come out of my mouth, he’d say, “That’s it. Stop. Now you just sound ‘preachy.’ Nobody listens to that.”
And therefore, this ends my sermon on meanness. To summarize, it’s not good. I have a plaque in my office at home, which holds the best advice I can give myself every single day. Having grown up in a very small town and then moving to a big town, I know this to be oh-so-true. It says, “Be nice, the world is a small town.” Because I promise, Karma will find you and bite you right in the booty. Ouch.
Hugs and blessings always,
LITTLE JEN in the BIG WOODS
I’ve actually been thinking about friendship and mean selfish friends. Interesting. ..